Marriage is a sometime thing
Jaci Velasquez has gotten divorced after less than two years of marriage.
After reading the story, I'm quite disturbed. Look at the explanations she gives: her marriage "took a turn" and "ended up in divorce". Although she sought counseling, marriage "didn't work out." See, it's nobody's fault; sometimes marriages just don't work out, and when that happens, it's time to ditch them. It'll all be okay, and you can just keep trying until you get lucky.
What a load of crap.
I don't know the specifics of her situation. I don't know what she and her ex-husband would say are the causes, nor do I know what a counselor might identify as the causes, but I think I can see one in her words. Jaci shows that she doesn't understand marriage, that she's bought into the American idea that (to paraphrase Cookie Monster) "A marriage is a sometime thing." Too many people look at marriage as something you try, and if it doesn't work out, then you can just try another. It's like a box of chocolates, and you can just keep tasting and spitting out until you get (as she said) "a dream marriage."
It doesn't work that way. God created marriage as something to last, something to endure, something that shouldn't be entered into lightly. Throughout the Bible, God uses marriage as a picture of His relationship to mankind. It's not something to be tasted and spit out. It's not something to jump into without due consideration. And if you're looking for your "dream marriage" to just happen, then you're so immature you have no business marrying anybody.
Marriage is hard work. The benefits are amazing - don't get me wrong, I love being married to auntlada and I'm so happy that she's my wife - but it is hard work. There's a great deal of learning to live together, of learning to put another person first; not just when you feel noble, but all the time!
I fail often. So does auntlada. The thing is, that we both knew, going into married life, that this was our only chance. We both made a commitment that marriage was until death, not until we got bored, or busy, or "grew apart" or whatever other excuse du jour people are using. So we've made it work. We've changed to be better spouses for each other. We've learned to accept certain habits that, in another person, would be considered grounds for murder.
That's what fighting for a marriage is. And it's something that has to be done each and every single day, starting right after you say "I do."
I don't mean to make marriage sound all harsh and unappealing, but I'm trying to counter an idea that says that it's all rainbows and love songs. The truth lies somewhere in between. Marriage is - and always will be - work, but the benefits are amazing. Having someone with whom I can really talk, someone who cares about me, who is willing to work with me is wonderful beyond belief.
Too bad Jaci didn't take the time to figure it out.
After reading the story, I'm quite disturbed. Look at the explanations she gives: her marriage "took a turn" and "ended up in divorce". Although she sought counseling, marriage "didn't work out." See, it's nobody's fault; sometimes marriages just don't work out, and when that happens, it's time to ditch them. It'll all be okay, and you can just keep trying until you get lucky.
What a load of crap.
I don't know the specifics of her situation. I don't know what she and her ex-husband would say are the causes, nor do I know what a counselor might identify as the causes, but I think I can see one in her words. Jaci shows that she doesn't understand marriage, that she's bought into the American idea that (to paraphrase Cookie Monster) "A marriage is a sometime thing." Too many people look at marriage as something you try, and if it doesn't work out, then you can just try another. It's like a box of chocolates, and you can just keep tasting and spitting out until you get (as she said) "a dream marriage."
It doesn't work that way. God created marriage as something to last, something to endure, something that shouldn't be entered into lightly. Throughout the Bible, God uses marriage as a picture of His relationship to mankind. It's not something to be tasted and spit out. It's not something to jump into without due consideration. And if you're looking for your "dream marriage" to just happen, then you're so immature you have no business marrying anybody.
Marriage is hard work. The benefits are amazing - don't get me wrong, I love being married to auntlada and I'm so happy that she's my wife - but it is hard work. There's a great deal of learning to live together, of learning to put another person first; not just when you feel noble, but all the time!
I fail often. So does auntlada. The thing is, that we both knew, going into married life, that this was our only chance. We both made a commitment that marriage was until death, not until we got bored, or busy, or "grew apart" or whatever other excuse du jour people are using. So we've made it work. We've changed to be better spouses for each other. We've learned to accept certain habits that, in another person, would be considered grounds for murder.
That's what fighting for a marriage is. And it's something that has to be done each and every single day, starting right after you say "I do."
I don't mean to make marriage sound all harsh and unappealing, but I'm trying to counter an idea that says that it's all rainbows and love songs. The truth lies somewhere in between. Marriage is - and always will be - work, but the benefits are amazing. Having someone with whom I can really talk, someone who cares about me, who is willing to work with me is wonderful beyond belief.
Too bad Jaci didn't take the time to figure it out.
posted by Scott at 7:03 PM
0 comments
